You’ve heard this expression—right? I’m guessing (being human) you might have said it a time or two.
There’s a reason this expression has stood the test of time—it’s true.
Actually we’re all getting on each other's nerves (and a lot of the time this is a GOOD thing).
We’re biologically programmed to sync with one another—it’s known as co-regulation. However, with some of us our syncing compatibility can become stuck. It might be just an occasional occurrence or it may be a constant state-of-being. When it’s the latter, it can become harder and harder to “connect” and that’s when chronic dysregulation creeps in…
So what do I mean by co-regulation and dysregulation and how does this relate to your bodymind and health?
Well, to state it plainly—it’s everything. Our nervous systems can thrive or barely survive based on input.
It’s your nervous system that’s the major component in not only how you are feeling in your body, but also the narrative your mind directs. When we are able to co-regulate with one another (which happens through attuned interactions) it calms our nervous systems. We laugh, we smile, we hug—we just FEEL good. In body and in mind. We’re then able to regulate ourselves as individuals better. Basically it’s like an endless continuum of unconscious “pay-it-forward” for emotional, physical and mental health.
Now, it’s a completely different scenario when we are dysregulated in our nervous system. We might have more aches and pains or gastrointestinal issues. We might be more easily frustrated, irritated or anxious. We might react more defensively or irrationally. We might be perpetually exhausted or prone to feeling “burned out”. While it’s human to feel any or all of the above from time-to-time, existing in any of these states in the longer term can be truly devastating to every aspect of bodymind health. Prolonged dysregulation can not only lead to lack of ability to connect, but a whole host of illnesses can begin to manifest throughout our entire body and mind, including anxiety and panic disorders, depression, fibromyalgia, tension headaches, migraines, chronic back/neck pain, IBS, nausea, high or low blood pressure, irregular heartbeat, dizziness, fainting, difficulty concentrating, memory loss, insomnia, autoimmune disorders and increased susceptibility to infections.
We are hard-wired to connect with each other to maintain internal homeostasis. Positive social interactions have the ability to function as a natural neuromodulator (chemical messengers that manage how nerve cells communicate and process information) that can greatly improve our behavioral, autonomic (internal body functioning) and emotional state regulation. Learning to perceive where our nervous system state is not only gives us immeasurable insight into how we feel in our bodies, but also what we think in our minds and how we react to others. And while the science behind what’s happening in our bodies is complex, the health manifestations of a balanced nervous system are much more straightforward. Not only will we be less prone to suffer from all of the conditions that a dysregulated nervous system can give rise to, our ability to navigate and adapt through the demands of daily life can improve immensely. We’ll feel more calm, alert and grounded. We’ll be able to think clearly and logically. We’ll have more internal awareness of our bodies. We’ll sleep better. We’ll communicate clearly. We’ll just wholly enjoy life more. Some general life conditions that are integral in helping to maintain equilibrium in your nervous system are ample sleep, healthy foods, adequate hydration and spending time in nature. However, there are more distinct and direct ways we can each support our own INDIVIDUAL nervous systems to encourage regulation. Through learning how to incorporate some simple awareness techniques and specific practices we can learn to get on each other’s nerves in the best ways possible.
Being human is complicated. Understanding the basics of how to optimize your nervous system functioning is not only a gift you give yourself, but an action that reaches out far beyond that to everyone you encounter.
